-这可真是个盛大的庆典 -可不是嘛 -This is a celebration! -Hells yeah!
靠 Damn!
为人民干杯 Power to the people.
嘿 我只是想再看你一眼 Hey! I just wanted to take another look at you.
好的 让我们追根溯源 杰米 So, take us back to the beginning, Jamie.
这一切都是怎么发生的 How did this all start?
呃 好吧 就是 大概四年前 Um, okay. So, about four years ago,
呃 我收到一个叫洛奇 弗林特斯通的人的电子邮件后 um, my life changed forever,
我的生活彻底改变了 uh, when I got an email from a guy called Rocky Flintstone.
没想到这个洛奇 弗林特斯通是我老爸 It turned out that Rocky Flintstone was my dad,
他一直偷偷在花园里的小屋里写情色小说 and he'd been secretly writing porn in the garden shed.
一本叫 眨眼的贝琳达 的小说 The book was called Belinda Blinked,
写得非常糟糕 and it was horrific.
简直不可思议 It was amazing.
这绝对是史上最糟的书 It's the best worst book ever written.
然后我的朋友 詹姆斯和爱丽丝 让我把它读给全世界听 So then my friends, James and Alice, made me read it to the whole world.
“贝琳达眨了眨眼 她不是在做梦 "Belinda Blinked. It wasn't a dream.
“面试官刚刚让她脱掉她的夹克和丝绸衬衫” "The job interviewer had just asked her to remove her jacket and silk blouse."
这系列书的主角是一个叫贝琳达 布卢门撒尔的女人 And the books are about a woman called Belinda Blumenthal,
她在世界各处兜售钢锅瓢盆 who shags her way around the world, selling pots and pans.
pots and pans引申义为极度贫穷
这本书一半讲情色一半讲职场 It's one-half erotica, one-half business manual.
于是我们开始了播客 从只有几个听众 So we started a podcast, and it went from a few people listening...
啊 我看不见路了 I can't see anything! Aah!
哦 我笑到哭出来了 Oh, no! I wet myself!
到现在听众如云 ...to quite a lot of people listening.
不过我们要说实话 这本书并不性感 But we should say, it's not a sexy book.
“贝琳达呻吟着 而公爵夫人哼着小曲 "As Belinda groaned, the duchess hummed,
“盯着她水润多汁的蜜穴” "watching her perspiring pussy meat."
啊 Ack!
洛奇的比喻很奇特 Rocky's metaphors are unique.
她的乳头现在和三英寸长的铆钉一样大了 Her nipples were now as large as the three-inch rivets
大到仿佛能铆住即将崩解掉泰坦尼克号 which had held the hull of the fateful Titanic together.
他对女性的身体没有任何概念 And he has zero concept of the female body.
“他抓住了她的宫颈” "He grabbed her cervix..."
他是要杀了她吧 He's gonna kill her.
老实讲 如果不是有我这个儿子作证 Honestly, if I wasn't sat here right now,
我敢发誓他肯定是个老处男 I would swear to God he was a virgin.
人们居然想要拍出电影版 这太疯狂了 I mean, it got so crazy that people were even talking about a movie version.
甚至有适合的演员排队等着试镜呢 And actual, proper actors were lining up to play the characters.
我挺想要扮演罗宾斯医生的 I do like the idea of playing Dr. Robbins.
我觉得我该穿上一套宽大的衣裳来演吉姆 斯特林 I feel like I should put on a fat suit and play Jim Sterling.
我倒很想扮演阿尔菲 就是那个矮小的男人 I'd quite like to play Alfie, the smallish man.
我想扮演阿达姆 I would go for Adaam.
我已经和我的经纪人谈过了 I've already spoken to my agents about it.
是的 事情是有点失控了 Yeah, it all got a little bit out of hand.
我爸写了小黄书 我爸写了小黄书 My Dad Wrote a Porno. My Dad Wrote a Porno.
你父亲的作品和哈姆雷特 There are similarities between
有异曲同工之妙 your father's work, and Hamlet.
-哦 天啊 -看 - Oh, my God! - Look!
他真他妈是个天才 He's a fucking genius.
继续啊 还有什么精彩的东西 Come on! How else have we got here?
所以现在 我在HBO上看我爸的小黄书 So now, I'm reading my dad's porn on HBO.
真是太棒了 Brilliant.
伦敦卡姆登圆屋现场直播 Live from the Camden Roundhouse, London,
欢迎杰米 詹姆斯和爱丽丝 please welcome Jamie, James, and Alice.
喔 好的 Woo! All right!
喔 喔 Woo! Woo-hoo!
喔 Woo!
-耶 -好啊 - Yay! - Yes!
嗨 伙计们 我叫杰米 Hi, guys. Um, my name's Jamie, and...
我爸写了小黄书 my dad wrote a porno.
-是真的 -是的 是真的 - It's true. - Yes, he did.
他真的写了 He did do...
谢谢 谢谢 虽然这可以算是我的地狱了 但是你们还是可以当乐子看的 Thank you, thank you. It's my hell, but your entertainment.
嗯 我爸爸 Uh, to my dad,
传说一般的人物 洛奇 弗林特斯通 the legend. Rocky Flintstone.
好家伙 好了好了 What a guy. Okay. Okay.
就是他写了这些糟糕的东西 是吗 So he wrote these shit books, right?
甚至最开始的时候 他写的狗屎东西 And right at the start, he wrote something that even he thought
他自己都看不下去 不忍放进“眨眼的贝琳达”系列里 was too shit to include in any of the Belinda Blinked books.
-所以我今晚就要读那些 -啊 你…… - So I'm reading that tonight. - Aw, you...
是的 是的 Yes, yes.
那么它讲了什么呢 发生了什么事 What's it about exactly? What happens? Um...
嗯 它是眨眼的贝琳达的一个章节 所以它什么都没讲 Well, it is a Belinda Blinked chapter, so it's not about anything, at all.
是的 但它讲了贝琳达 布卢门撒尔的事 Sure. But it involves Belinda Blumenthal,
钢锅瓢盆的国际销售总监 the international sales director of Steeles Pots and Pans.
基本上是她带着她的区域销售经理 Um, and she basically takes her regional sales managers
去参加一个团队建设日 on a kind of team building away day.
因为很显然 Um, 'cause, obviously...
-真好啊 -因为这是一本关于职场的书啊 It's so good. 'Cause, well, it's a business book.
所以他们的团建休息日也完全说得过去 So, you know, they're doing a corporate away day. Makes absolute sense.
好的 伦敦的朋友们 你们准备好了吗 Well, London, are you ready for this?
我想我们应该 玩喝酒惩罚游戏 I think we should, uh, play the drinking game.
呼声挺高啊 是吧 要来吗 That's a great shout. Yes. Yeah? Up for it?
我们应该制定正式的规则 We should establish official rules.
-是 当然了 当然了 -我们也许应该 你懂的 - Yeah, sure, sure, sure. - We should probably, you know...
正式的规则 好的 那么 The official rules. Okay. Well what about...
你知道洛奇多喜欢关注无关紧要的细节吗 You know how Rocky likes to focus on unnecessary details,
拿拍电影打比方 在做爱的时候 like, if the camera was on them, like, shagging,
镜头会慢慢飘到窗帘上 it would slowly zoom to the curtains.
是的 是的 它关注的都是些愚蠢的东西 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it just focuses on the most stupid things.
分散人的注意 是的 没错 Distracted. Yes. Yeah. Exactly.
所以每次都有一些不必要的细节 比如喝酒 So every time there's, like, an unnecessary detail, drink.
-是的 赞成 -好 好 - Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. - Good, good.
好的 我的规定就是 语法 糟糕的语法 Okay, uh, my rule is gonna be... grammar, bad grammar.
是的 没错 因为我感觉他每次都是最后才来修饰语法 Yes. Exactly. Um, 'cause I feel like he does it all afterwards.
你懂的 他在最后才会过一遍文章 Yeah. You know, after the event. So he'll go through,
这里加个分号 这里一个句点 a little semicolon, full stop in there.
这里用逗号吧 对了 省略号 Let's put a comma. Yeah. Apostrophe.
对他来说 我想分号像是在朝他眨眼 For him, I think a semicolon is just his work winking back at him.
说着“干得漂亮 洛奇” He's like, "You're doing a great job, Rocky."
嗯 我想 如果你们每个人都只为一条规定喝酒的话 Um, and I think, you know, if you're only gonna drink on one of the rules tonight,
那么贝琳达眨眼的时候大家都要喝酒 uh, everybody must drink when Belinda blinks.
成交 Deal. Yes.
在我们开始之前 我想有一件 Before we start, I just think there's one thing
非常非常重要的事需要注意 that's really, really important to just note. Yeah.
不管你读了什么 那都是你爸爸写的 Whatever we read, your dad wrote it.
看看这大屏幕上写着什么呢 Looks what's behind me!
我爸写了小黄书
-真是让我困扰 -我们已经写得最大了 That's gonna haunt me. That's as big as we can manage.
-我们该翻开书了 -这本书 But I think we should open the book. This thing here.
爸爸写的小黄书 爸爸写的小黄书 爸爸写的小黄书 Dad porn, dad porn, dad porn.
好了 Okay.
“眨眼的贝琳达” "Belinda blinked."
喝 Drink!
随意找个地方开始 我敢肯定我会喝到烂醉的 Start as we mean to go on... I'm gonna shit-faced. I can just tell.
失落之章 The Lost Chapter.
-“与区域销售经理的团队建设……” -好啊 - "Team Building with the Regional Sales Managers..." - Yeah!
分号 Semicolon.
看吧 已经开始了 干杯 Yes. It's already started. Cheers.
从标题就开始犯错了 不愧是洛奇 On a title. Yes, Rocky.
“贝琳达 布卢门撒尔 锅碗瓢盆的国际销售总监 "Belinda Blumenthal, international sales director of Steeles Pots and Pans,
“将她的奔驰车 "turned her Mercedes into the driveway
“开进了那座僻静庄园的车道 "of the secluded manor house,
“她雇了一个人来组织白天的狂欢活动 ” "she had hired for the team building away day extravaganza..."
-喔 -“在康沃尔海岸的团建” Whoa! "...on the Cornish coast."
-哦 那是这世界上很美好的地方 -是的 - Oh! Very nice part of the world, very nice. - It is...
它是很美好 It is a lovely part of the world,
但从伦敦开车过去要七个小时 but it's also about a seven-hour drive from London.
-没错 的确 -所以就这一天在路上浪费太多时间了 That's true, actually, yeah. See, it's a long way to go for a day.
-是的 没错 还有回程 -是的 是的 - Yeah. That's true. And back. - Yeah, yeah.
还有回程 十四个小时的车程 And back. Fourteen-hour round trip! And back. Yeah.
他们在那里就呆个十分钟 They're gonna be there for 10 minutes,
快速地打个炮 回到车里 再见了 quick shag, back in the car. Bye!
-“训练大师 ”-大师 - "The training guru..." - Guru!
“她 她把整个节目安排得很好 "...she was... she was pinning the whole show on was good.
不 是非常 非常好” No. Very, very good."
呃 谁想猜一猜这位大师的名字吗 Um, who wants to guess the name of this guru?
哦 有谁想试试 猜名字 Ooh. Anyone? Name. Yeah.
-维罗妮卡 -不是 Veronica. No.
-依勒克拉 -依勒克拉 认真点吧 Electra. Electra? Behave.
南希 不是 Nancy. No.
我感觉这女人好像刚送走一位叫南希的人 I feel like this woman's just lost someone called Nancy.
南希 Nancy!
你他妈在哪 我们走错片场了 Where the fuck are you? We're at the wrong show!
不 我不是 抱歉 我没听见正确答案 No, I didn't... I'm sorry, guys, but I didn't hear it.
-因为正确答案是 “梅拉尼娅” - Because... - "Melania was," uh...
-好吧 -我开玩笑的 很显然我是在开玩笑 - No! Okay. - I'm... I'm joking. I'm obviously joking.
嗯 “娜塔莎 拜尔斯” Um, no. "Natasha Biles..."
这个姓氏选得很有趣不是吗 Okay. That's an interesting choice of surname, isn't it?
-是吧 -因为它并不是 It is, isn't it? Because that's not...
并不是一个和性挂钩的液体吧 它是胆汁 It's not a sexy liquid, is it? Bile.
-不是 就是呕吐前的那种感觉 -是啊 - No, it's kind of like pre-vomit, isn't it? - Yeah.
酸回流本质上是 差不多吧 Acid reflux is essentially... That's basically it. Yeah.
“娜塔莎 拜尔斯是业内最好的 "Natasha Biles was the best in the industry,
她几乎总是能保证取得优异的成绩” and she almost always guaranteed exceptional results."
“实际上 她有着一头火红的头发” "In reality, she herself was a fiery redhead."
哦 是爱丽丝吗 Oh. Alice.
-天呐 -罪名成立 Hello. Guilty as charged.
“法国血统 一点不差” "Of French extraction, not the less."
“实际上 她也是当地的女性救生艇成员” "As it turned out, she was also the local female lifeboat member."
-我要为这个罚酒了 -我也要 I'm drinking on that. I'm drinking on that, as well.
你懂吧 在看小黄书的时候 You don't really want, you know, to think about drowning people
-你并不会想要去想那些溺水的人 -是啊 when you're reading porn. Yeah. Really. Yeah.
会有一小部分人这样做的 There'll be a small cross section of the community that do.
继续 “实际上 她也是当地的女性救生艇成员 所以 So, "As it turned out, she was also the local female lifeboat member, so,
“她在家也穿着黄色的高筒靴和 油布衣服 "she was equally at home in a pair of yellow Wellingtons and oil skins,
就像在女商人穿制服一样自在” as in a team building businesswoman's uniform."
这句话中提到的服装选择 That is a lot of interesting
很是有趣啊 sartorial choices in one sentence.
“贝琳达心情愉快地登记入住了” "With a light heart, Belinda checked in."
之后 抱歉 我能插一句嘴吗 这他妈的是一整段 And, sorry. Can I just say, that's one fucking paragraph.
看 Look.
就这样 孤单的一句话 简直让人同情 There it is. On its own. It's just so sad.
-太不正统了 只能这么说 -这很重要 It's unorthodox, I'll give you that. It's very important.
“她漫步在铺着精致地毯的宽阔楼梯上 "She strolled down the wide, exquisitely carpeted staircase."
-哦 天呐 我们会烂醉如泥的 - Oh, God. We're gonna be drunker than... - Looks like a drink.
最奇怪的事情能让她解脱 不是吗 The weirdest things get her off, don't they?
是的 她走下楼的时候就像在说 谁把地毯放在那的 Uh, yeah. Yeah. She's, like walking down the stairs going, who laid that?
天呐 它一直延伸到边界诶 Oh, my God, it goes all the way to the edge. Ah!
-要命 -怎么了 那是 Kill! What? That's...
那是你对“铺着精致地毯”的定义吗 That's your definition of "exquisitely carpeted"?
-赋予重任的飞毯 -延伸到边界 - Functional carpet. - To the edge.
把整个房间都铺满了 To the edge of the room.
“她那舒适而性感的黑色皮裤套装” "Her comfortable, yet sexy black leather trouser suit..."
喔哦 又是一副靓丽的外观 Whoa, another great look. Whoa.
是啊 你是说既舒服又性感 Yeah. Did you say it was comfortable, yet sexy?
是的 是的 “既舒服又性感”是的 是的 Yeah, yeah. "Comfortable, yet sexy." Yeah, yeah, yeah.
我猜是因为她穿太多次了 把皮裤都撑大了 I feel like she's worn it a lot, like there's a bit of give in the gusset.
哦 詹姆斯 Oh, James.
-很舒服的 -宽松的裆部 才不要呢 It's comfy. A baggy crotch. No.
“她那舒适而性感的黑色皮裤套装吱吱作响 "Her comfortable, yet sexy, black leather trouser suit squeaked...
-当她”-所以她走起路来就是这样的 as she..." So she's literally like...
太有灵魂了 Mental.
“她昂首阔步地走过铺着瓷砖的长廊 走进会议室” "...as she strutted along the long, tiled hallway into the conference room."
我想说一点 前戏好像越来越长 I would argue that surfaces are getting a lot of airtime,
-没有 没有什么情色内容 到目前为止 -是的 是的 - and not... not much sex, thus far. - Yeah. Oh, yeah.
是没有 No.
“娜塔莎站了起来 迅捷地将她颤动的舌头 "Natasha stood up and immediately pushed her throbbing tongue
-伸进了贝琳达紫红的嘴中” -好的 - into Belinda's purple mouth." - Okay.
哇哦 Wow.
-这就开始了 -一秒打脸啊 Now we've started. I spoke too soon. Okay.
-我们现在就在贝琳达的嘴里 -是的 - We're literally in Belinda's mouth. - Yes.
嗯 娜塔莎在她嘴里 Yeah, well, Natasha is.
可以干很多事 There's a lot of activity there.
-发生了很多事 -很可爱的问候 不是吗 - There's quite a lot going on. - Lovely greeting, isn't it?
你想拆开它吗 Yeah. Do you want to break it down?
-怎么 对半分吗 -是 我想 Oh, what, go fifty-fifty? Yeah. I'll, uh...
是说什么来着 紫红的嘴 我要这个紫红的嘴 What was it, purple mouth? I'll take the purple mouth.
那我就是颤动的舌头 And I will take throbbing tongue.
-好的 -虽说我不会要颤动的舌头啦 Okay. Good. I won't take throbbing tongue, although...
我们等着瞧吧 毕竟 We'll see. There's some...
-夜还早 -房间里有着有资格的单身汉呢 The night is young. ...eligible bachelors in the room, yeah.
呃 那什么 紫红的嘴 她是快死了吗 Uh, yeah. Purple mouth. Uh, is she dying?
-才没有 没有 没有 她好着呢 好着呢 -没有窒息吗 - No! No. No, no, she's fine. She's fine. - No. Choking?
-生病了 -没有 她很好 - Ill? - No, no, no. She's fine.
-好吧 行吧 -好的 我的问题是前面提到的 - Okay, fine. - Okay. My question is about the aforementioned,
-呃 颤动的舌头 -嗯 爱丽丝 怎么了吗 uh, throbbing tongue. Yes, Alice. Yes?
呃 我就是想知道是不是这样的感觉 Um, I just wanted to know is that this kind of motion, like a...
是的 Yeah.
是的 我猜想就像是 呃 脉动一样 Yeah. I imagine it's kind of like, yeah, like, like, pulsing.
就好像你能感受到你的血脉喷张 Like, you can feel the blood, like...
哦 抱歉 你们也这么想吗 Oh, I'm sorry. Is that your line?
因为这本书其他部分也会同样让你们感觉匪夷所思 'Cause you are literally fucked for the rest of this book, like...
-哦 抱歉 我还有个问题 -你说 - Oh, sorry. One more question, actually. - Yes?
嗯 她们之前见过面吗 Um, have they ever met?
-有趣的问题 她们 -你可真是会假正经 Interesting question. They have... You're such a prude.
- 从没见过 一次 也没有 -从未谋面 - ...never met. No. - Never met.
好吧 好吧 连招呼都没打过吗 就像这样 Okay. Good. Not even a hello? Just a...
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you. Uh...
啊 伙计们 伙计们 Um, guys, guys, guys.
“眨眼的贝琳达” "Belinda blinked."
-干杯 干杯 -嗯 - Cheers, cheers. - Mm.
-敬你和你的家人 -敬你和你的家人 - To you and yours. To you and yours. - To you and yours.
好了 Right.
哦 Oh!
-怎么了 -你知道你发出了一些噪音吗 You all right? Do you know you're making a noise?
-知道 -有些 有些 Yes. There's something, there's something...
你呼气的声音 You're exhaling audibly.
呃 Um... a...
你们他妈就不能让我喘口气吗 Would you just give me a fucking second!
你很紧张 我们很担心 You're deflating. We're concerned.
我不知道发生了什么 但总该有个头吧 I don't know what's happening, but can it last forever?
“我 我是 啊 娜塔莎 "I-I'm, ah... Natasha.
“我是这的主管哇 "And I'm in charge naah.
嗯 嗯 ” Yeah? Yeah?"
-不 肯定是 “我是这的主管哇”-是吧 - No, definitely. "I'm in charge naah." - Yeah?
“主管哇” "Charge naah."
-这是不是 法语 -这就是法语 Was that supposed to be... French? That was French.
挺好的 我觉得 不 不 我觉得你这是仇恨犯罪 It's very good, I thought. No, no. I-I think that was a hate crime.
好吧 好吧 Oh, okay, okay.
-我为他们抱不平 -好吧 - I'm offended for them. - Okay, fine.
呃 今晚有法国人来到我们现场了吗 Uh, is anyone in the room French tonight?
或者随便谁觉得他发音比我好的都行 Or at least thinks they can do a better accent than I.
-哦 -好 - Ooh. - Yes.
呃 你愿不愿意 Um, are you willing to play
在剩下的部分里扮演娜塔莎 拜尔斯 Natasha Biles for the rest of the show?
愿意吗 Yeah?
反正你不会比我糟了 所以 You can't be worse than me, so...
不过 请认真对待这件事 好吗 Um, but, come on, please take this fucking seriously, okay.
我非常认真地看待我的口音 I take my accents incredibly seriously.
你懂的 我 我认真准备了 You know, I... I prep them.
虽然轮到他们登场的时候总是并不被人欣赏 They're not always appreciated in their time, um...
但我们要认真的承诺 好吗 好好想一想 But we want real commitment, okay? Think the method.
我们要丹尼尔 戴 刘易斯 梅丽尔 斯特里普级别的演员 Daniel Day-Lewis, Meryl Streep-level, okay?
二者均是著名演员
-顺便问一句 你叫什么名字 -蒂姆 What is your name, by the way? Tim.
不 你是娜塔莎 拜尔斯 No! You're Natasha Biles!
-我是娜塔莎 娜塔莎 -老天 - Natasha! Natasha. - For God's sake!
-快点 娜塔莎 -蒂姆 蒂姆 Look alive, Natasha. Tim, Tim, Tim,
-蒂姆 蒂姆 哦 -这不会有好下场的 - Tim, Tim, Tim... Oh. - This will not end well.
好的 Okay.
我是 呃 娜塔莎 呃 我是主管 I am, uh, Natasha, and, uh, I'm in charge now.
我没想过会是这样的 蒂姆 但 I promised myself I wouldn't do this, Tim, but, um...
-哦 去你的 莱文 那简直是 -太精彩了 Oh, fuck off, Levine. That was... That was incredible.
-是中等水平 实际上 - 太精彩了 ...middling! That was honestly... incredible.
-谢谢你 -谢谢 - Thank you for that. - Thank you.
我会去拜访你的 但请 I will call on you. But please...
不要就这么立起你的人设了 把他麦关掉 don't build your part in the meantime. You know. Switch his mic off.
不过非常感谢你的参与 非常感激 But, no. Thank you so much for being involved. We really appreciate it.
“娜塔莎把手放在贝琳达的 "Natasha put her hand on Belinda's...
膝盖上” knee."
-你听到他们的期待了吗 -听出来了 - Did you hear that anticipation? - Yeah.
他们非常期待 瞧瞧 都是性饥渴吧 They're gagging for it, this lot. Look at them. They are so sex-starved.
大家好像都非常期待听到 她把手放在哪了 Everyone's like, where did she put her hand?
“没有退缩 没有反抗” "Feeling no flinching or resistance..."
大家 这就叫做默许了 That's called consent, everybody.
什么 不 才不是 What? No. No, it's not.
这可不是默许 That's really not consent.
什么呀 不退缩不反抗就是默许吗 What, not flinching or resisting?
-咱们开个小会 -好呀 Do you want to have a conference behind my hands? Yeah.
你错得离谱 You're so wrong. Um...
如果仅仅是不退缩的话 那不算是默许吧 That's not consent, is it? If somebody just doesn't flinch.
这概念太模糊了 不是吗 Oh, it's so murky, isn't it?
-如果他们没有退缩 -如果没感觉不适的话 通常是 So if they don't recoil... If they're not sick, is normally my...
好了 好了 Right. Okay. Okay. Yeah.
我们继续 “她没有退缩 没有反抗 Um, so, "...feeling no flinching or resistance,
她顺着被皮革包裹的腿滑了上去” she slid it up the leather-clad leg."
-什么滑上去了 哦 手 手滑上去了 -她的手 - Slid what up? Oh, the hand. The hand. - Her hand. Her hand.
呃 是被皮革包裹的椅子腿 还是贝琳达的腿 Uh, the leather-clad leg of the chair, or of Belinda?
-当然是贝琳达的 -好吧 抱歉 有皮革的东西太多了 Of Belinda! Okay. Sorry. There's a lot of leather.
“贝琳达张开了她的腿” "Belinda opened her leg."
-一只腿吗 -是的 用的单数 One leg? Singular.
她就是 剖开了她的大腿 She just sort of, spatchcocked her thigh.
是的 是的 Yeah. Yeah.
“贝琳达打开了她的腿 让娜塔莎” So, "Belinda opened her leg," um, "allowing Natasha..."
这太沙雕了 “ 得以 ” This is so stupid. "...free access to..."
如果我要说得以脸上WiFi 我现在就走 If you say WiFi, I'm walking out.
我只是 那是我的底线了 I was just... that's just my... that's my line.
为什么 她底下可是信号满格呢 Why? She's got four bars up there. Just...
她的阴道已经严阵以待了 She's got a very connected vagina.
把你的邮件发进去 你就可以走了 Just put your email in, and you're away.
我想说 我本可以说是4G的 但我没有 I want you to know, at this point, I could say 4G-spot, but I haven't.
我就想让你们知道这点 我很仁慈了 I just want you to know that. I've taken the high ground. I've taken the high ground.
呃 不是WiFi 是“得以触碰她的腹股沟” Uh, no, um... Uh, "free access to her groin."
-腹股沟 -是的 很性感吧 - Groin? - Yeah. Sexy, huh?
“用她那经验丰富的 手 "With an experienced... hand,
“娜塔莎解下了贝琳达的漆皮腰带 "Natasha undid Belinda's patent leather belt
然后拉下了”-你是在闹情绪吗 and pulled down..." Are you having an episode?
-为什么要那样的语气来读 -这真的难以启齿好吧 Why are you speaking like that? This is really fucking hard to read.
能不能把这句 就这句打到屏幕上 好吗 Can I just get this... just this one sentence up, please?
好的 看吧“贝琳达打开了她的腿 让娜塔莎得以触碰她的腹股沟” So, look. So, "Belinda opened her leg allowing Natasha free access to her groin." Fine.
“用她那经验丰富的 手” "With an experienced... hand"
“娜塔莎解下了贝琳达的漆皮腰带 "Natasha undid Belinda's patent leather belt
“然后拉下了 "and pulled, down...
-哦 天呐 -“ 她的裤链” Oh, my God. "...her trousers's zip."
“裤链” "Trousers's zip."
我们应该为这句喝酒 喝 喝一整天吧 We have to drink on that. Oh, drink. Drinks for days.
做梦都没这么好的吧 You couldn't dream it so good, could you.
“她的手 急速潜入贝琳达的下体” "Her hand... dove into the vaginal area."
-哦 见鬼 -喔哦 - Oh! Bloody hell! - Whoa!
-真要命啊 詹姆斯 -听上去她 Fucking hell, James. Sounds like she's...
学得真像 我都听到你的破风声了 That was good. I heard the wind rush past you.
直直切入 不溅起一丝水花 Just straight in there. No splash.
哦 别 哦 抱歉 Oh. Don't... Oh, sorry.
别说没有水花 Don't say no splash.
抱歉 我说了才想起来 I heard it as I said it. Sorry.
“她的手 急速潜入贝琳达的下体 两只 "Her hand... dove into the vaginal area, where two...
-手指” -哦 天哪 - fingers..." - Oh, God.
“ 拉开了 ” "...pulled aside..."
-拉开了什么 -“脆弱的” - What? - "...the flimsy..."
-脆弱的 啊 -“红色的” Flimsy? Aah! "red...
-内裤”-噫 - panties." - Whew.
好吧 是这样 不 是那样 Okay. So, like... No, like that.
-不 是那样 -你在干嘛呢 No, like that. What are you doing?
你在 你在做一遍 你在做什么 What was... Just do that again. What was that?
我是在模拟拉开内裤的样子 Now, I was just hooking them, the panties, to the side.
好吧 我后悔让你再来一遍了 I mean, I would rather you didn't, but yeah.
-之后我又想 -那是什么 - But then I was thinking... - What is that?
-停下来 -那是什么 Stop doing that. What is that?
我还以为那是煽动性的举动 I thought that might be the inflammatory move. Um...
不 我想的是那种 情趣内裤 No, I was just thinking of those... sexy pants.
你懂的 那种中间打开的 Uh, you know the ones that are cut up the middle.
-那里有个家伙一副很懂的样子 - There's a chap, "I know. - Yeah."
好像他看过那种 Um... "Oh, I've seen 'em."
所以你可能是这样拉开 也可能是这样拉开 Um, so then you would do that, or like... that.
-别这样 你在干什 -喔 Stop! What are you...? Whoa.
-又不是拉开窗帘 -天 -是不是还要打声招呼 They're not curtains. Fucking hell. Morning!
你这更像是妈妈在ipad视频的样子 不是吗 That's more like Mum on an iPad, isn't it? That's like...
“两只手指拉开了脆弱的红色的内裤 进入了 "Two fingers pulled aside the flimsy red panties, and entered
她的阴蒂” her clitoris."
-你有问题吗 -你有问题吗 Yes? James, you have a question.
穿罩衫的女士 你有问题吗 The lady in the blouse. Yes?
是 我是说 虽然这不是我的专长 Yeah. Um, not my area of expertise,
嗯 但是 Yes. Yeah. But...
你不能进入阴蒂的吧 you cannot enter a clitoris?
-好了 -喔喔 - No, please. - Whoa, whoa.
詹姆斯 你坐下 你们这些人 你们应该懂的 James, sit down. You lot, you should know better.
不要像那样为常识鼓掌 Do not applaud basic knowledge like that.
尤其是他把这当成一个该死的问题说出来 Especially when he said it as a fucking question.
“你不能进入阴蒂的吧” "You cannot enter a clitoris?"
令人担忧的是 这居然算是一种进步 That's actually progress, worryingly.
-是的 没错 -好的 我会把这点记进我的笔记本上的 Yeah, well, that's true. Yeah. I'll put that in the notebook.
-今天又学到了一些东西 -你还有笔记本 - That's another learning for another day. - Is there a notebook?
-就是记一些我学到的东西 -你的想法 You know, just the things I've learned. Musings.
-是的 想法 “不能进入阴蒂” -很好 Musings, you know, "You cannot enter a clitoris." Yeah. Great. Good.
“不退缩不代表默许” "Not flinching is not consent."
“贝琳达轻柔地将她的内裤拉到屁眼以下” "Belinda gently eased her trousers down her asshole."
屁眼 Asshole!
“拉到屁眼以下” "Down her asshole."
她屁眼多大啊 还能拉到那下面 How big's her asshole? Down?
-屁眼 屁眼 -要进到她屁眼下的夹层里吧 Asshole. Asshole... Into the lower mezzanine of her asshole.
-那还真不错啊 他就 -哇哦 - That's really cool. He's just... - Wow.
-他有屁眼对吧 -我爸写的什么玩意啊这是 He's got asshole in there, hasn't he? Dad, what the fuck? Like...
-这样不好吧 -你为他骄傲吗 That's not nice. Are you proud of him?
现在别问我 Not right now. No.
“贝琳达轻柔地将她的内裤拉到屁眼以下 "Belinda gently eased her trousers down her asshole,
“小心避免妨碍到娜塔莎有节奏的抚摸 "being careful not to impede Natasha's rhythmic touching..."
哦 Ooh.
-等等 等等 所以娜塔莎是在这样抚摸 -对 - Hang on, hang on, hang on. So, Natasha's like that. - Yeah.
-贝琳达是一边道歉一边小心脱裤子 -是的 就是 - But Belinda's like, "I'm so sorry." - Yeah, so like...
“我能不能 就是” "Can I just, like..."
你介意吗 哦 喔哦 Do you mind if...? Oh, whoa!
-喔喔喔 -我什么都没干 我什么都没干 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, I didn't. No, I didn't.
-你碰到了个不得了的东西啊 -我才没有 You touched a bollock. No, I didn't!
-你碰到了 -她真的碰到了 - You did. - Did she really?
你碰到了个不得了的东西 You touched a bollock.
-没事吧 我以为我们很默契的 -你刚还在说 It was fine. I thought we were fine. You were just saying...
-爱丽丝进入我的阴蒂了 -我没有 Alice entered my clitoris. No, I didn't.
我一点都不惊讶 莱文的五指都直冲冲地戳过去了 I'm not surprised. Five-finger Levine was going for it up there.
她肯定很喜欢这样 She was absolutely loving it.
“贝琳达把她的左腿 "Belinda put her left leg up
搭在娜塔莎雕花橡木船长椅的扶手上” on the arm of Natasha's carved oak captain's chair."
-“她左手撩动她乌黑的头发 -哦 "She ran her left hand through her raven mane... Ooh!
“右手抚摸着她匀称的身体 "...whilst her right caressed her shapely body.
“沿着她紧绷的大腿内侧 "Tracing the line of her taut inner thigh,
她的指尖滑上娜塔莎宽阔的肩膀” she stroked her fingertips over Natasha's broad shoulders."
抱歉 杰米 抱歉打断你 Sorry, Jamie. I'm so sorry to interrupt. Yes. Sorry.
有没有和我一样听懵了的 Anyone else getting a bit lost?
-说实话是有点难跟上 -是的 就像是 - It is a bit hard to follow, yeah. To be fair. - Yeah, like...
-就这样 -就这样 - Just... just now. - Just now.
-好像突然跳转了地方 -是的 是的 - Like, bits are going in different places. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-像是在玩扭扭乐不是吗 -是的 It's kind of turning into a bit of a game of Twister, isn't it? Yeah. It is.
你知道这是一个很好的机会吗 Do you know what this would be a great opportunity to do?
-我们在播客上做不到的 -要早点走吗 Something we can't do on the podcast. Leave early?
-不 不过是个好主意 -不 不 不了 是的 No. But great idea. No, no, no, no. Yeah.
-一种消遣 -是的 A recreation. Yes!
让我们把这本书情景再现 Let's bring the book to life!
-我迫不及待了 -我也加入 I'm up for that. Yeah. I'm game. Yeah.
好的 很好 所以我需要一些志愿者 Okay, great. So I'm gonna need a couple of volunteers
从观众中挑选 from the audience.
我要 我要从他们中走过了 I'm gonna go... I think I'm gonna go amongst them.
-祝你好运 -为我加油吧 我要上了 Good luck. Lube me up. I'm going in.
好的 那么 有谁愿意吗 或者贡献出你们的同伴也行 All right. Okay. Um, anyone... anyone someone's plus one?
谁都好 我究竟在 哦 哦 Anyone, like, what the hell am I... Oh! Oh!
-你好 -你好 Hello. Hi.
-你好 呃 你是被拉出来的吗 -是的 Hi. Uh, so you're a plus one? Yes.
-你是在约会吗 -不是 Is this a date? No.
-是的 -你在约会 Yes, it is. It's a date?
-是约会 是约会 -初次约会吗 It is. It is. A first date?
没错 Yes, it is.
-你说什么 -绝对是初次约会 What was that? It definitely is a first date.
哦 我的天 我们找到一对初次约会的情侣 我的天啊 好吧 Oh, my God! We've got a first date! Oh, my God. Right.
-好吧 好吧 你的名字是 -爱丽 爱丽 Right, right, right. What's your name? Ari. Ari!
-爱丽 好的爱丽 你叫 -汤姆 Ari. Ari, and... Tom.
爱丽和汤姆 Ari and Tom.
-那么 你们是怎么认识的 -我们是同事 So, how did you meet? We work together.
你们是同事 天啊 这像极了贝琳达啊 You work together? Oh, my God. It's like Steeles Pots and Pans!
你在哪工作 Where do you work?
别 别 No, no...
-一个化学公司 -别说了 A chemical company. No, no.
一个化学公司 A chemical company.
我们公司生产避孕套用乳胶 Our company makes the latex for condoms.
你他妈是在逗我吗 Are you fucking joking me?
哦 天哪 Oh, my God.
嗯 呃 我希望你今晚能用上你们公司的产品 Well, um, I hope you manage to use your own products this evening.
祝你有个美妙的夜晚 伙计们给他们一些掌声 Have a fabulous night. Give 'em a round of applause, guys.
呃 好了 今晚有谁愿意为我们 Uh, okay. So, would anyone like to help us recreate
展现一个场景吗 a scene this evening?
哦 真棒 天啊 她有贝琳达那样完美的头发 Oh, yes. Oh, my God. She's got, like, the perfect Belinda hair.
好的 Okay.
-你好 你叫什么 -凯蒂 Hello. What's your name? Katie.
凯蒂 好的凯蒂 你是做什么的 Katie. Okay, Katie. What do you do for a job?
-我是厨师 -她是厨师 I'm a chef. She's a chef!
她的工作离不开锅碗瓢盆 She works with pots and pans!
-这是命中注定 -绝对是 - It's fate. - It's meant to be.
你太棒了 凯蒂 你就是我们的贝琳达 You're perfect. Katie, you're our Belinda.
来吧 There you go.
走向舞台 呃 我们还需要一位娜塔莎 Head up to the stage. Uh, we also need a Natasha.
-所以你愿意当娜塔莎吗 -当然 So, will you be our Natasha? Of course. Yeah.
很好 好的 我们有娜塔莎了 给她掌声 Amazing. Okay. We have our Natasha. Give her a round of applause.
到舞台上去吧 走吧 Head up to the stage. Let's go.
好的 你坐在这把椅子上 Okay. Right. So, if you take a seat
扮演娜塔莎 in the chair, you're Natasha.
你站在这 你是贝琳达 You stand there. You're Belinda.
好的 是这样的 Okay. Right. So, what's gonna happen is,
杰米会读那本小说 Jamie's gonna read from the book,
你就按照他读的演出来 行吗 and you literally have to act out what he says. Okay?
祝你们好运 真可怕啊 Good luck. It's bad.
呃 我想我们该帮两位 Um, I feel like we need to help these two
-找找感觉 你们说呢 -是的 我觉得应该要 - get in the mood, though, don't we? - Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
我们能不能让台上营造出一种性感的氛围 Could we set, uh, a kind of sexy mood onstage, please?
-哦 很好 -我也有些东西给你们 Ooh, yes. I also have something for you.
-哦 哇哦 -LED蜡烛灯 真不错啊爱丽丝 - Oh, wow. - LED tea-lights. Alice!
你怎么会有这种东西 You shouldn't have.
我觉得我们发掘出了爱丽丝莱文的私生活 I think we're learning a lot about Alice Levine's private life, here.
-LED蜡烛灯 -它们总是能发挥作用 每次都是 LED tea-lights. Hello! They work every time. Every time. Yeah.
好了 杰米 我想我们准备好了 Okay, Jamie. I think we're ready.
-你随时开始 -好的 So, when you're ready to... Okay.
“贝琳达把她的左腿 "Belinda put her left leg
搭在娜塔莎雕花橡木船长椅的扶手上” up on the arm of Natasha's carved oak captain's chair."
好的 你就 哇哦 Okay, you have to come... Whoa!
所以原来是这样的景象 So that's what it looks like!
哦 天哪 Oh, gods!
好的 等等 你有么有 哦 我能借用一些那个吗？ Okay, hang on. Have you got... Oh, can I just borrow that?
好的 你抬起左腿 相信我 Okay, put your left foot up. Trust me, trust me.
好的 架在扶手上 Okay. On the arm. On the arm.
好的 拿着这个 拿到那里 好的 There you go. Hold that there. Hold that there. Okay.
“她左手撩动她乌黑的头发 "She ran her left hand through her raven mane,
右手抚摸着她匀称的身体” whilst her right caressed her shapely body."
-我帮你拿着帽子 你继续吧 -谢谢 I'll hold the hat for you. There you go. Oh, thank you.
-哦 我的天啊 我的天啊 -真棒啊 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - Yes!
喔哦 Woo!
有谁硬了吗 因为 Has anyone else got a semi, because...
实在是太性感了 This is hot stuff.
“沿着她紧绷的大腿内侧” "Tracing the line of her taut inner thigh..."
没错 真好 There you go. Yeah.
“她的指尖滑上娜塔莎宽阔的肩膀” "...she stroked her fingertips over Natasha's broad shoulders."
好的 你手放过来 像抚摸猫一样抚摸她 就是这样 Okay, so if you bring them around here, just stroke her like a cat. There you go.
哦 差点 哦 天 Oh! Almost! Oh, God.
抬腿 手放这 来 继续 Leg up. Arm here. There we go.
我觉得詹姆斯会是个专横的情人 I feel like James would be such a bossy lover.
-不 手放那里 不 摸我那里 -抬腿 手放这 试试 No, arm there. No, caress me there. Leg up. Arm there. Come on.
-好的 -“她抓上了她的左胸” Yeah. Okay. "She grabbed her left breast."
这是洛奇写的 情有可原 If Rocky's written it, it's possible.
我从前面抓吧 I have to grab it forward.
好的 她抓上胸了 There we go. She's on the breast!
我拿帽子 I'll take that.
“她捏了捏状似坚果的乳头” "She squeezed a nut-shaped nipple..."
等一下 等一下 我们有坚果 Wait, wait, wait. We've got nuts.
我们有坚果 我们给你拿个坚果来 We've got some nuts. We'll bring you a nut.
好吧 看看我们有些什么 Okay, what have we got?
你喜欢哪个 你喜欢什么形状的乳头 What would you like? What nipple would you like?
-我们就用这个好吗 -没问题 Should we go with that one? Yeah, sure.
-这个真不错 很适合 -这很无礼 不过说得没错 - That's nice and fancy. - That's offensive, but, yeah.
不 不 你拿着它 No, no. You hold it.
你在乳头的位置拿着它 就是这样 You hold it where the nipple goes. There we go.
“她捏了捏状似坚果的乳头 "She squeezed a nut-shaped nipple
食指顺着乳头的轮廓游走” and followed the outline with her forefinger."
-“绕着圈”-绕着圈 - "Going, going 'round." - Going 'round.
-“一圈” -一圈 - "And 'round." - And 'round.
-“一圈” -一圈 "And round." And round.
-“又一圈” "And 'round."
“每圈逐渐加重力道” "But increasing the pressure with each circumnavigation."
好的 你做得真不错 你很享受啊 Okay, you really give it some, and you're enjoying it.
你很享受啊 You're enjoying it.
“娜塔莎深深地呻吟” "Natasha moaned deeply."
嗯 Uh...
-“贝琳达低下头” -这样 "Belinda bent her head..." There we go.
“开始探索她潮湿的洞穴” "...and started to excavate her damp cave."
不 不 不 够了 No, no, no, no, no, no. That's quite enough.
停下音乐 把灯光调回正常的样子吧 Let's stop the music. Let's get the lights back to normal.
我想这足够了 女士们先生们 I think that's quite enough. Ladies and gentlemen,
热烈掌声送给贝琳达和娜塔莎 please give a round of applause for Belinda and Natasha.
鞠个躬 姑娘们 鞠个躬 Take a bow, girls. Take a bow.
谢谢 谢谢你们 Thank you. Thank you.
我想 这是 这是车祸现场吧 I mean, that was... That was a train wreck.
-太过了 -不过 干得漂亮 詹姆斯 - That was a lot. - But, you know, well done, James.
我像看到了阴道 I saw a vagina.
好了 Okay.
“突然 姑娘们听到了区域销售经理的 "Suddenly, the girls heard the sound
一些声音” of the regional sales managers..."
天呐 这才是我们来到这里的理由 Oh, my God. That's why we're here.
我都忘了我们为什么要来这里了 I'd completely forgotten why we were here.
就像是披头士来了一样 It's like the Beatles have arrived.
“区域销售经理的车停在外面的声音 "...of the regional sales manager's cars parking outside.
“她们迅速地互相穿上衣服 "They quickly dressed one another,
恰赶在她迈着沉重的步子走进房间前穿好了” finishing just as her subordinates plodded into the room."
真是让人冷静的好方法啊 洛奇 Way to kill the energy, Rocky. Thanks.
以下提到的几个人物均出自Belinda Blinked系列
“帕特里克 奥哈姆林” "Patrick O'Hamlin..."
耶 Yay!
怕你们忘了 我说一下他掌管着两个国家 Yeah, he's in charge of two whole countries, lest we forget.
苏格兰和爱尔兰 大忙人啊 Scotland, and Ireland. Busy man.
“肯 德斯伯里” "Ken Dewsbury..."
真的吗 他会在他的地下室里拍片子啊 Really? He films women in his cellar.
伙计们 冷静点 Guys, come on.
-你们这些疯子 -“德 马丁” You guys are sick. "Des Martin..."
他做爱的时候都在运球吧 天呐 这个 And he dribbles during sex. God, this lot.
“还有戴夫 威尔科克斯” "And Dave Wilcox..."
哦 Oh.
显然是组里的表演者 The Ringo of the group, clearly.
“瘫倒在一堆椅子里” "...slumped into the expansive collection of chairs."
所以所有区域销售经理在公司的分层中 So, the regional sales managers are kind of all on the same level, right,
都是同一水平吗 within the hierarchy of the company?
是的 可以说他们都在贝琳达的手下 Yeah, they're all under Belinda, so to speak.
说实话 我觉得看一看 I actually, um, thought it'd be useful to see
锅碗瓢盆公司的结构会很有用 the kind of company structure of Steeles Pots and Pans.
呃 因为这本书里有很多这种思想 Uh, 'cause there's been so much thought put into these books.
嗯 实际上我真写出来了 Um, so I actually have it here. Um...
贝琳达在这 她是一切的中心 So, there's Belinda, the center of it all.
我喜欢把人物关系剖析开 I love that we're supposed to be turned on,
但我们现在却是在看着这样一个 and we're looking at a chart of the company structure
描绘锅碗瓢盆公司的结构的图表 of a pots and pans company.
是的 这并不是最性感的对吧 也不是那么有用 Yeah, it's not the most sexy, is it? It's also not that useful.
真正有用的是看谁上了谁 What's really important is to see who's fucked who.
-是的 -所以 我们 我们改一下图 Yes! So, let's... let's change that,
看看谁和谁干过什么 and see who's done the dirty with whom.
哦 天啊 Oh, jeez.
是的 你会觉得 Yeah. So, you really kind of, so, you know...
哇哦 那些线代表着什么 Wow. What do all the lines mean?
红线是“裸体调情” Yeah. So, red is "flirting whilst nude."
嗯 你看 也没有那么多嘛 Um, you know, so not that much
在锅碗瓢盆公司也没那么多 of that's gone on, actually, at Steeles Pots and Pans.
性爱抚就很普遍了 Heavy petting is rife.
随处可见 A lot of that's been going on.
用蓝线标出来了 That's the blue line.
然后是全套性爱 Then you've got all the sex,
绿线标出来的那个 which is the green one,
同样 在这公司里并不是很多 So again, not that much going on at Steeles.
让我们扩大范围 So let's widen it out,
看一看每个 and have a look at the context
出现在眨眼的贝琳达宇宙中的人物 with every character that's ever graced
-的故事 -天啊 - the Belinda Blinked universe. - Oh, my God.
-我的天哪 -看看这图表 - Oh, my God. - Look at it.
简直像伦敦地下铁一般复杂 看看它 It's like the London Underground. Look at it.
-我很喜欢每条线都和贝琳达相连 -是的 是的 - I love that all lines lead to Belinda, as well. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
虽然 最令人伤心的一点是 看这 吉姆 汤普森 什么都没有 Although, and this is so sad, look, Jim Thompson. Nothing!
一根线都没有 Not a sausage, literally.
-可怜的吉姆 -可怜的吉姆 - Poor Jim! - Poor Jim!
“会议还是开始了” "But the session had begun."
开始了 Yes, it had.
“娜塔莎将三枚骰子放在了桌上” "Natasha placed three dice onto the table."
-骰子 -骰子 - Dice? - Dice.
-好吧 -“并让每个人都扔一次” Okay. "And asked each person to take a throw."
“帕特里克 奥哈姆林 他第一个掷出骰子”好的 "Patrick O'Hamlin. He went first." Oh, yeah.
“他嘴角带着一丝嘲讽的笑意 "And with a hint of a tease,
掷出了三个 6 ” he scored three... sixes!"
哦 那真不错 Oh, that's good!
那是三个骰子能掷出的最好的结果了 That is the best you can do with three dice.
抱歉 我们在搞什么 I'm sorry. What are we playing?
-呃 我们在玩掷骰子 -掷骰子 没错 他说了 Uh, we're playing dice. Dice. Yeah, he did say that.
虽然不是游戏 但还挺好的 Not a game, but cool.
-“其他人一齐哀叹”-我们哀叹吧 - "Everyone else groaned..." - Oh, let's groan.
“咒骂着爱尔兰人的运气” "...swearing at the luck of the Irish..."
混蛋 Bastards.
“其余区域销售经理们也都掷了骰子” "...the rest of the RSMs took their throws.
“德 马丁掷出了很好 很扎实的10” "Des Martin scored a good, solid ten..."
-挺好的 -“分别是3 5 和2” That's decent. "...from a three, a five, and a two."
“戴夫 威尔科克斯掷出了12 "Dave Wilcox scored a 12...
“分别是5 6 和1” "...from a five, a six, and a one."
我喜欢他凑字数 I love that he's just filling pages.
“肯 德斯伯里 "And Ken Dewsbury...
-“区区7”-哦 - "...a measly seven." - Ooh.
哦 让我猜猜 分别是1 4 和2 Oh, let me guess. A one, a four, a two.
-“分别是2 3 和2”-哦 "From a two, a three, and a two." Oh.
“娜塔莎拾起骰子” "Natasha picked up the dice."
哦 还有骰子 都是骰子 Oh, there's more dice, more dice.
“递给了贝琳达” "And she passed them on to Belinda."
-好多骰子管理者啊 -是啊 - It's a lot of dice admin. - Yeah.
“贝琳达笑了 但 "Belinda smiled, but...
“她没有眨眼” "she didn't wink."
-那就别写下来啊 -知道这点真好 谢谢你 老爸 Then don't write it. Yeah. Good to know. Thanks, Dad.
你不用把没发生的事业记录下来 You don't need to document it if it didn't happen.
“她快速而随意地一扔 ” "Her quick but casual throw..."
不知道它们落在哪里 我也不关心 Don't know where they went. Do not care.
“她快速而随意地一扔 结果是 "Her quick but casual throw resulted...
-总共”-哦 我们要击鼓吗 营造一种紧张的氛围 in a score..." Oh, can we drumroll? Can we do a little...?
“是” "...of..."
“4” "...four..."
-哦 天哪 -“ 分别是1 2” Oh, God. "...from a one, a two...
以及另一个不幸的1” and another wretched one."
真叫人失望 That's disappointing.
“娜塔莎 拜尔斯目光锐利地盯着她” "Natasha Biles looked daggers at her..."
“在一片死寂中说出了事实” "...as a stunned silence said everything there was to say on the matter.
“贝琳达目光下移 想着” "Belinda lowered her eyes and thought...
“我他妈的 "Fuck me.
“我 我毁了她的活动 "I've... I've ruined her exercise.
她现在会对我做什么呢” What's she gonna do to me now?"
我们能得到一些提示吗 Can we get a tiny bit of perspective?
“娜塔莎说” "Natasha said..."
“‘掷骰子到此为止 "'That's the end of dice class.
“‘贝琳达 既然你垫底 "'Belinda, seeing as you came bottom,
“‘在下午剩余的时间中 "'you must spend the rest of the afternoon...
“‘你都要露出你的胸’” "'topless.'"
“娜塔莎抓住贝琳达的胳膊肘 "Natasha took Belinda by the elbow...
将她带到房间的边缘 舔了舔她的脸” ...guided her to the edge of the room and licked her face."
哦 天 Oh, God.
-就是这样 -为什么 - As you do. - Why?
我真不知道这本书里会发生什么 I literally have no idea what's going on in this fucking book.
“她悄悄地拿出一盒汉弗莱斯骰子和老鼠 "Secretly, she pulled out a box of Humphries Dice and Mice
就业中心的骰子” joke shop dice."
是我喜欢的牌子 My preferred brand.
“悄声说” "And whispered..."
-“‘正如你所见’” -悄声 - "'As you can see...'" - MORTON: Whispered.
“‘正如你所见 "'As you can see,
“‘我的骰子盒是汉弗莱斯 "'my box of dice are from Humphries
“‘骰子和老鼠就业中心的 "'Dice and Mice joke shop.
“‘供应商是皇家’” "'Suppliers to royalty.'"
真好 It's very good.
真的 真的很好 It's very, very good.
“‘为什么 为什么你 你 你 为什么 你” "'Why, why you... you, you... why, you..."
不会那样写的吧 That does not say that.
-你看 -哦 还真是那样写的 Look. Oh, it does say that.
来 来 把这句打上来 Get up, get up. Get this line up.
“‘为什么 为什么你 你 你 "'Why, why you... you, you...
“‘为什么你 你 你 为什么你 "'why you, you... you, why you.
你在轮到我的时候换了骰子 You switched the dice when it was my turn.'"
这是诗吧 写得太好了 That is poetry. That is beautiful.
“‘娜塔莎说” "'Natasha declared..."
“‘你指望什么呢 我可是大师啊’” "'What do you expect? I am a guru.'"
“对性的渴望和对职业的尊重充斥她的身体” "Lust and professional respect pulsed through her body."
两种截然不同的情绪一起 Two very different emotions all at...
“娜塔莎仿佛能从她的呼吸中嗅出来” "It was as if Natasha could taste it on her breath."
她的呼吸 你们闻过饱含对性的渴望和对职业尊重的呼吸吗 Oh. Her breath? Have you eaten lust and professional respect?
哦 还真是浓烈呢 Ooh, it's very strong.
会反复持续吗 像洋葱那样 Does it repeat? Is it like onions?
“娜塔莎仿佛能从她的呼吸中嗅出来 "It was as if Natasha could taste it on her breath,
“因为她缓慢地掀起裙子 "because she slowly pulled up her skirt...
露出了她的宫颈” and flashed her cervix."
好吧 Now...
他不止一次这么写过 He has done this before.
老爸不知道宫颈是什么 Dad doesn't know what a cervix is.
他以为这只是阴道的另一种说法 He thinks it's just another word for vagina.
我 爱丽丝 And, I... Alice.
这是你很讨厌的地方吧 This is a specific pet peeve of yours.
我觉得所有人都应该很讨厌吧 It should be a specific pet peeve of all of ours.
是的 没错 但我觉得你尤其讨厌这样的 And it is, absolutely. But, I think particularly, it's a bee in your bonnet.
是吧 他真把女性的所有部位 Yeah. Well, he does just think that all of the lady bits
都混为一谈 他想用哪个就用哪个 are sort of jumbled up in a bag, and they can kind of go anywhere.
感觉现在不说就没机会说清楚了 It feels like this would be a missed opportunity to not clear it up once and for all,
-所以我能耽误两分钟吗 -请说 - so can I take two minutes of your time? - Please.
-请说吧 爱丽丝 你说上四分钟都没关系 -谢谢 好的 Please. Alice, you can take four. Thanks. Okay.
你要是听说我们在演出前做了些准备 你会感到惊讶的 我懂 So it will surprise you to hear that we do do some preparation before the show. I know.
我们读的这个是洛奇的研究 他真的努力想要搞清楚 And we were reading this study, because Rocky does really struggle...
是的 他对女性解剖做了研究 Yeah, he does. ...with female anatomy.
但事实上 你们很多人也一样 But it turns out, so do a lot of you.
半数千禧一代的女性 Because 50 percent of millennial women
不知道她们的阴道在哪里 don't know where their vagina is.
-这是真的 不是开玩笑 -是真的 真的 - That's real. That's not a joke. - It's true. It's a true fact.
这不是一个笑话 好吧 This is not a laughing matter. Okay?
我不是说她们会说“是在这里吗” I don't mean they're like, "Is it here?"
我是说她们不知道哪是哪 所以 I mean, they, like, don't know which bit's which. So...
你们觉得最上面那个标的是什么 What do you think that top label is?
它们是 They are the...?
我和后台的小伙子们说 我透过幕布悄悄看了一眼 I said to the boys backstage, I had a little peek through the curtain,
我说“这一屋子都是法尔图的粉丝” I was like, "We have a room full of FalTu fans."
是的 输卵管 很好 Yes. Fallopian tubes. Okay.
真棒 好的 下面一个 它们是什么 Brilliant. Okay. Next one down. What are they?
卵巢 Ovaries!
好的 这答案几乎完全统一 除了一个小子 Okay, that was almost unanimous, apart from a chap...
我不会看你的 先生 因为我不想让谁尴尬 I'm not gonna look at you, sir, 'cause I don't want to embarrass anybody,
但是在这一区域 绝对有个人说那是肺 不过的确 but in this zone, who definitely said lungs, but yes, that is...
算是生殖系统的肺吧 如果你非要这么说的话 the... the lungs of the reproductive system, if you like.
这里是卵巢 That is the ovaries.
先生 请小心一点 你可能会把人害死 Sir, please be careful. You are gonna kill someone.
嗯 下一个 Um... next one down.
我给你们一些小提示 I'll give you a little clue.
有关团队精神 单词里有“我们”[us] It's the team player. You can't spell this without "us."
是的 是子宫[uterus] 对了 Yes, it's the uterus. You betcha.
好的 右下角 先生 不叫那个的 Um, okay, bottom right, sir, that's not what it's called.
右下角是什么 What is the bottom right one?
刚刚是不是有人说是香蕉吗 Did someone say banana?
比我想的还糟呢 看来不知道这些结构的人超过半数了 It's worse than I thought. It's higher than 50 percent.
那就是阴道 好的 最后一个 That is the vagina. Okay. So the last one...
让我们先保持一秒沉默 Let's just have just complete silence for a second.
呃 我想数到三 大家都能说出来 Um, and I think on the count of three, we could all do this together.
因为我猜今晚在伦敦其他任何地方 Because I am gonna have a little guess that this is not happening
都不会发生这样的事 anywhere else in London tonight.
好的 倒数三个数 大声地 Okay. So on the count of three, as loudly...
先生 你可能会说从肺的顶部开始 At the top of your lungs, you might say, sir...
集中精神 好了 Mind blown. Okay.
3 2 1 Three, two, one...
宫颈 Cervix!
真不可思议 我 That was magical. I...
是啊 Yeah.
为你们鼓掌吧 是的 Yeah. Applaud yourselves. Yeah.
因为你们让我高潮了 谢谢你们 Because you just made me come, so thank you.
非常感谢 谢谢 Thank you so much. Thank you.
爱丽丝 莱文 真他妈令人尊重啊 Alice Levine. Fucking respect.
-干的漂亮 -谢谢 - That was good. - Thanks.
“整个团队都不敢相信他们的好运 "The team couldn't believe their luck,
“只见娜塔莎和贝琳达解开上衣的扣子 "as Natasha and Belinda unbuttoned their blouses,
“卸下她们的胸罩 "unhooked their brassieres,
让她们各自的乳房露在外面” and let their respective tits hang out."
是的 Yes.
各自的乳房 Respective tits?
这是我的奶子 那是你的奶子 These are my tits. Those are your tits.
“几秒之内 脸就有些泛红了 ” "Within seconds, a somewhat flushed-ish..."
哦 Oh!
你这 虽然很蠢 但很棒啊 “泛红” That's, although stupid, quite nice, "flushed-ish."
-哦 这么说真好 -泛红 - Oh, it's ever so nice to say. - Flushed-ish.
“几秒之内 脸就有些泛红了 "Within seconds, a somewhat flushed-ish
“帕特里克 奥哈姆林站起来说 "Patrick O'Hamlin stood up and said...
“嘿 ” "'Hey!"
“‘嘿 听我说 我掷了三个6 "'Hey, listen to me. I got the straight sixes.
-“‘我也要脱衣服’”-哦 "'I'm strippin' off, too.'" COOPER: Oh.
“突然 肯 德斯伯里尖声说道 "Suddenly, Ken Dewsbury piped up.
“‘去他妈的’” "'Fuck it.'"
“‘去他妈的 我还不如女人呢 "'Fuck it. I did no better than ladies.
-“我想我也该脱光衣服”-脱光衣服吗 - "'I reckon I should be balled naked, too.'" - LEVINE: Balled naked?
“然后 让人难以置信的是 "Then, unbelievably,
“他真的按他说的 "keeping true to his word,
肯 德斯伯里脱掉了他所有的衣服” Ken Dewsbury removed all of his clothes."
-我不想看到那样的场景 -“他细致地全部折好” I don't want to see it. "He folded them carefully."
喝酒 Drink.
虽说我觉得那既性感又表示了尊重 Although, I think that's sexy and respectful.
“他细致地全部折好 放在一把机翼一般的椅子上” "He folded them carefully on one of the wing-backed chairs..."
-是的 -又要喝酒了对吧 - Yes. - That's another drink, isn't it?
“坐在刚用吸尘器打扫过的房间里” "...sitting around the edge of the recently vacuumed room."
是啊 Yeah.
“然后 他小心地 坐在了他的袜子上” "He then... took care... to sit on his socks..."
“以免” "...so as to not..."
哦天 你停顿的时候我总是有不好的预感 Oh, God, I don't like it when you pause.
-“把柔软的家具弄脏了” -哦 - "...soil the soft furnishings." - Oh...
嗯 嗯嗯 嗯 他是 他是刚拉过屎吗 Mm. Mm-mm, mm. Has... Has Ken done a poo?
-抱歉 他是想要去 -拉到身上了 - Sorry, because he's about to... - Shit himself,
-还是 拉到身上了吗 -我不知道 - or he has... Shit himself? - I don't know.
好的 好的 书上没说 Okay, okay. It doesn't say.
这不重要 对不对 不重要 It doesn't really matter, does it? Really doesn't matter.
-这无关紧要 -屎总是要来的 It's a moot point. Shit's coming either way.
是的 Right. Yep.
“德 马丁从来不甘落后 "Des Martin, never one to be caught out,
马上就脱得只剩下他的黑色丁字裤了” immediately stripped down to his black thong."
哦 Oh!
我不管他写了几次了 总之这个并不流行 I don't care how many times he writes it, it's not catching on.
虽然 我觉得今晚这屋里的人好像很好这口 Although, in the room tonight, I felt like there was a lot of support for that.
我们猜测一下今晚到场的男性百分之八十都穿着黑色丁字裤 Let's say 80 percent of the men are wearing black thongs tonight.
“娜塔莎觉得会议进行得很好” "Natasha thought the session was going rather well."
这什么标准啊 What was the criteria?
“贝琳达很高兴” "Belinda was delighted."
“戴夫 威尔科克斯很困惑” "Dave Wilcox was confused."
“但他很快就脱了衣服 因为他是个商人” "But he promptly stripped off, for he was a businessman."
商人就是这样的吗 是吧 我猜是 And that's what they do, is it? Yeah. I guess.
“娜塔莎那让人看了就充满欲望的乳房” "Natasha's fuckably-shaped breasts..."
啊 Aah?
别回答我这个问题 你们就自个儿想想 Don't answer this, either of you. Just think about it.
究竟是什么形状 What shape are they?
什么形状才会让人看了就充满欲望 What shape is a fuckably-shaped breast?
-大概是 -别回答 Is it like, a... Don't answer it.
“娜塔莎那让人看了就充满欲望的乳房 "Natasha's fuckably-shaped breasts
“摇荡着” "echoed..."
咯噔 咯噔 咯噔 咯噔 Ga-doon, Ga-doon, Ga-doon, Ga-doon...
像是那种 撞球摆件 Like one of those, you know, those exec toys,
人们喜欢放在桌子上的那种 对 对 对 对 that people have on their desks? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
“娜塔莎那让人看了就充满欲望的乳房摇荡着 "Natasha's fuckably-shaped breasts echoed the maturity
“映射出她黝黑圆润身躯 "of her tanned, rounded body,
以及姣好结实的腿的成熟” and good, sturdy legs."
-结实的腿 -是的 - Sturdy legs, as well? - Yeah.
-那性感吗 结实的腿 -结实的腿 Is that sexy? Sturdy legs? Sturdy legs.
你会看着一个人想“哦 我打赌她能站上好几个小时” Do you look at somebody like, "Ooh, I bet she can stand up for hours."
她看上去不需要一把椅子坐下来 She doesn't look like she needs a chair.
“这对德 马丁来说太过分了 "It was all too much for Des Martin.
“他必须要拥有贝琳达 "He simply had to have Belinda,
管他的团建会议呢” team building session or no."
“他伸手拉下了老板的内裤” "He reached over and pulled down the boss's knickers."
我喜欢这句话的表述 I just like that as a turn of phrase.
“你是不是以为自己是老板的红人了” "You think you're the boss's knickers, don't you."
房间里的每个人都热切地盯着他的脸” Everyone in the room gasped at his cheek."
-真好 -“他们等着 Very good. "And they waited.
兄弟们 他们是在等” Boy, did they wait"
他应得的一巴掌吗” for the slap on the face he so truly deserved."
“巴掌没有到来” "It never came."
正义不复存在了吗 Is there no justice?
“贝琳达转过身来 "Belinda turned 'round
-“亲吻德 马丁”-哦 - "and kissed Des Martin..." - Aw.
-“深深地”-不错啊 - "...deeply..." - That's nice.
“亲吻他的老二” "...on his cock."
-真厉害啊 -真厉害啊 - That's really cool. - That's really cool.
真是厉害 是我听过最厉害的东西了 That's cool. That's the coolest thing I've ever heard.
这肯定是最厉害的了吧 Isn't that the coolest thing ever?
要怎样才能深深地亲吻老二啊 How... How do you kiss someone deeply on the cock?
鬼知道 You tell me.
-把舌头伸进尿道里 我不知道 -哇 你居然要回答吗 Tongue down the urethra? I don't know... Oh, you're gonna answer?
-你刚刚是 哇哦 -只是猜测 You just... Wow. It's a guess!
这是你说的最有洛奇风格的东西了 That is the most Rocky thing you've ever said.
你回答得太快了 你怎么不试试啊 You answered so quickly. Why didn't you give it a beat?
-假装你刚刚想到了这点 -我刚刚就像这样 Pretend you've just thought of it. Here's what I like:
“把舌头伸进尿道里” "Tongue down the urethra."
在你心里我是什么样子的啊 What a perfect impression of me.
“我刚刚就像这样 把舌头伸进尿道里” "Here's what I like. Tongue down urethra."
“她张大了她的嘴巴 把他含了进去” "She opened her mouth wide and took him in."
take sb. in本义为收留某人
-哦 -收留他 - Oh! - Took him in?
那是 “你冷吗” That's... "Are you cold?"
“来吧 今晚你要来我这过夜吗” "Come on. Do you need somewhere to stay for the night?"
别指了 我们知道你的嘴在哪 谢谢您了 Stop pointing so much. We can find it. Thank you.
“张大了她的嘴巴 把他含了进去 "...opened her mouth wide and took him in,
-“一次吞进”-哦 我的天啊 "in one gulp." Oh, my God.
她吞下了他老二吗 她是 像剥牡蛎一样把他老二剥下来了吗 Has she swallowed his cock? She's, like, shucked him back like an oyster.
“德 马丁发出了尖叫声” "Des Martin screamed."
-我打赌他死了 -“我一点都不意外” - I'll bet he did. - "I'm not surprised."
“我老二呢” "Where's my cock?"
“我今早还见着它了” "I had it this morning."
哦 天哪 哦 等等 抱歉 Oh, my God. Oh, hang on. Sorry. No.
我读错 了 I read it wrong... ish.
“德 马丁欣喜若狂地尖叫起来” "Des Martin screamed in ecstasy."
哦 好吧 不 我不敢苟同 我不觉得他欣喜若狂 Oh. Okay. No, I beg to differ. I don't think he did.
这听起来 这听起来可怕啊 That sounds aw... It sounds horrific.
“然后” 我操 "And..." Fuck.
“白色的” "...white...
“精液” "...semen..."
“顺着贝琳达的喉咙往下流” "...dribbled down Belinda's throat."
呕 好了 Eww-agh! Okay.
哦 天哪 Oh, God.
是不是 Would it be...?
我真的 我 我真的要顶不住了 I'm literally, I'm... I'm a wreck.
我真的要顶不住了 I'm a wreck of a man.
-你爸爸 -我知道 Your dad... Yeah. I know!
好的 你知道 你知道 我不该说的 你知道的 No, you know. You know. You know. I don't need to say it. You know, so...
-天呐 -现在 God. Is it...
是不是不该让你重新读一遍最后一行 a bad time to just ask you to reread the last line... just recap the last line?
-真要这样吗 -我不记得具体的用词了 Really? I can't remember the exact wording of the...
好的 没事的 Okay, fine.
“德 马丁欣喜若狂地尖叫起来 "Des Martin screamed in ecstasy
白色的精液顺着贝琳达的喉咙往下流” as white semen dribbled down Belinda's throat."
嗯 再听一遍也没好到哪去 Mm. It's no better on second hearing.
它可能就这样了 I thought it might have mellowed.
帕特里克 欧哈姆林再也等不下去了 "Patrick O' Hamlin could wait no longer.
他健步一跃弹跳起来 清空了桌子” With a mighty leap and a bound, he cleared the table..."
蜘蛛侠 Spiderman.
“抓住了娜塔莎的胸” "...catching Natasha by the breasts."
她又不是攀岩墙 She's not a climbing wall!
“他把她扔到铺得精致的镶木地板上” "He threw her onto the exquisitely laid parquet floors."
“因期待而扭动着 "There, writhing in expectation,
“帕特里克 欧哈姆林闯入她的阴道 摩擦着她的阴唇” "Patrick O'Hamlin entered her vagina and tickled her labia."
他“闯入了她” He "entered her."
听上去就像他这样进去了 It sounds like he kind of went, like...
戴着个头戴式照明灯 with one of those head torches on.
嗯 嗯 里面很好 Yep. Yep. Good in here.
敲敲这 这是 这是隔墙 If you knock that down, that's... that's the partition.
骨盆墙可以移上来 That pelvic floor, that can come up.
“娜塔莎双腿张得更开了” "Natasha opened her legs wider."
哦 她只能这样啊 毕竟有一个大男人在她里面 Well, she'd have to. There's a whole man up there, doing...
做着浩大的翻新工程 ...quite an extensive renovation.
-“把帕特里克更深地拉进她猖獗的身体”-哦 真操蛋 - "And pulled Patrick even deeper into her rampant body." - Oh, shit!
所以外面只剩下一双鞋了吗 像这样 对 So it's just a pair of shoes? Like this. Yeah.
“与此同时” "Meanwhile..."
-回到办公室里 -“与此同时” Back at the office... "Meanwhile..."
“德 马丁将贝琳达的嘴 "Des Martin returned Belinda's mouth
-再次带到他恢复活力的老二上”-哦 真好 - to his now reinvigorated penis." - Oh, lovely.
“开始有礼貌地操她 "And started to screw her politely.
哦 不 请 您先 我可以吗 Oh, no, please. After you. May I?
“肯 德斯伯里正要进入贝琳达 "Ken Dewsbury had set about entering Belinda,
他开始兴致勃勃地操她” and he started to fuck her with gusto."
-哦 -兴致勃勃吗 - Oh... - Gusto?
是这样吗 Is that, like...
-不 那样是潇洒 -哦 No, that's pizzazz. Oh.
兴致勃勃 潇洒 有明显的分界 Gusto, Pizzazz. There's a fine line.
你总是分不清它们 You do always get them confused.
“这一切让戴夫 威尔科克斯非常困惑 "This all left an ever so bewildered Dave Wilcox,
-他立刻蹲在娜塔莎的脸上”-哦 我的天哪 - who quickly squatted on Natasha's face..." - Oh, my God.
-别这么心急火燎的啊 -不 这是需要慢慢来的事吧 Don't do it quickly. No. That's a thing to take your time over, isn't it?
她两只眼睛就会看到那样的场景 啊 She'll have two black eyes. Aah!
-简直像是 炸弹一样 -哦 Just like a... boom! Ooh!
“让她能够咀嚼他的睾丸” "...enabling her to chew his testicles."
这可真是狂野啊 太可怕了 This is really rough. This is horrible, horrible...
我不想站在男性的角度谈这事 但是我 I don't want to speak for the male experience, but I'm gonna...
看詹姆斯 他就像是在保护自己一样 Look at James! He's like, protecting himself.
用牙去咀嚼睾丸 Using your teeth to chew on a testicle,
-我想说那样可能会受伤的 -不建议这么做 I'm just gonna say that might hurt. It's not advisable, yeah.
这就像咬一个腌洋葱 不是吗 It'd be like biting into a pickled onion, wouldn't it?
-哦 天 -为什么 - Oh, my God. - Why?
为什么这么酸 Why so vinegary?
不是说味道 是说质感 你这个笨蛋 Not the taste. The texture, you loon!
-“他愉悦地咆哮着” -他没有 他肯定没有 "He growled in pleasure..." He didn't. He just didn't.
“等着帕特里克 欧哈姆林把自己榨干” "...waiting for Patrick O'Hamlin to drain himself."
我从来没有像现在这样被一个动词搞得如此心烦意乱 I've never been more upset by a verb.
真恶心 对吧 That's disgusting, isn't it?
把自己榨干成一层硬壳 Draining himself into, like, a husk.
“等着帕特里克 欧哈姆林把自己榨干 ” "...waiting for Patrick O'Hamlin to drain himself..."
别再说“把自己榨干”了 Stop saying, "To drain himself."
“这样他就可以把他那硕大 跳动的肉棒” "...so he could release his big, throbbing cock into..."
把它放生 Into the wild.
Free Willy：1993年电影《人鱼童话》 字面意思为自由的阴茎
让它自由 现实版的人鱼童话 Be free! Actual Free Willy.
哦 天哪 Oh, my God!
-真好 真好 -真好 - Very good. Very good. - That's good.
那电影讲的不是这么一回事 It's a very different film.
“这样他就可以把他那硕大 跳动的肉棒" "...so he could fully release his big, throbbing cock
捅进娜塔莎女性的褶皱中” into Natasha's womanly creases."
女性的褶皱 Womanly creases?
-这写的不错啊 -是吗 - That's actually quite good. - Is it?
-听上去就像是他在操她背上的膘肉一样 -哦 詹姆斯 Sounds like he's jizzed in her back fat or something. Oh, James!
哦 谢谢你 Oh, thank you.
哦 天呐 谢谢你榨干你自己 Oh, my God. Thank you for draining yourself.
哦 我的天呐 “操她背上的膘肉”哇哦 画面感很强啊 Oh, my God. "Jizzed in her back fat." Wow. That is quite the image.
“贝琳达 布卢门撒尔 "Belinda Blumenthal...
“把德 马丁绵软的老二 "plopped Des Martin's floppy phallus
从嘴里吐了出来” out of her jaws."
多少人能老实说他们也会像这样软下来 How many people can honestly say they're not turned on?
我觉得你要诚实的话 很难否认吧 I think you'd find it hard, if you were being completely honest.
哦 天呐 我怀疑我再也硬不起来了 Oh, my God. I don't think I'm ever gonna have an erection again.
-所以 “贝琳达 布卢门撒尔吐出了”-吐出 So, "Belinda Blumenthal plopped..." Plopped?
吐出 甚至不是掉出来 是吐出 Plopped! It wasn't even flopped. Plopped.
“把德 马丁绵软的老二从嘴里吐了出来 "...Des Martin's floppy phallus out of her jaws
“她看着她疲惫不堪的同事们” "as she watched her knackered colleagues."
“终于回过神来” "Her mind got in touch..."
是的 Yes!
你好啊 Hiya!
“终于回过神来 她说‘一万八千美元花得很值’” "Her mind got in touch to say, 'Eighteen grand well spent.'"
-一万八千美元 -是的 - Eighteen grand? - Yeah.
这是这章里最恶心的部分了 That's the most disgusting part of this whole chapter.
这整个的 车祸现场 This whole... I mean, car crash.
-一万八千美元花在什么地方了 买那几个骰子吗 -一万八千美元 - Eighteen grand on what? On some dice? - Eighteen grand.
大概主要是花在清理房间上吧 我猜的 Mainly the cleanup, I imagine.
他们要把整个房间烧掉吧 They had to just burn the whole thing down.
把装潢上的屎清理掉很 很困难的 Getting shit out of upholstery is... is difficult.
我 我是这么听说的 So... so I've heard.
坊间传闻 Anecdotally.
-各位 -怎么了 - Everyone? - What?
-“贝琳达眨了眨眼” -太好了 - "Belinda blinked." - Yes!
啊 Ah!
所以 感谢他娘的 And that, thank fuck...
-这句是这章的结尾 -哦 - is the end of the chapter. - Aw!
效果不错 Good effort.
喔 Wow.
所以 真的 最后剩下一件事 So, really, there's only one thing left to do.
呃 那就是感谢那个人 那个神秘的人 Um, and that's thank the man... the mystery.
-那个怪物 -没错 The monster. Yes.
我老爸 My dad.
来吧 伙计们 站起来 Please, guys. Be upstanding...
敬伟大的洛奇 弗林特斯通 ...to the great Rocky Flintstone!
敬洛奇 弗林特斯通 敬洛奇 弗林特斯通 干杯 To Rocky Flintstone. To Rocky Flintstone. Cheers.
敬洛奇 敬洛奇 干杯 干杯 To Rocky. To Rocky. Cheers. Cheers.
干杯 干杯 Cheers. Cheers.
非常 非常感谢你们的到来 你们都非常棒 Thank you guys so, so much for coming out! You've been amazing!
我们的节目名叫 我爸写了小黄书 你们都跟着我们堕落了 We have been My Dad Wrote a Porno. You have all been perverts.
谢谢 晚安 Thank you, and good night.
喔 Woo!